MeAIMH

TELEVISION’S IMPACT ON YOUNG CHILDREN

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
TELEVISION’S IMPACT ON YOUNG CHILDREN
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. What are your opinions of how TV watching affects young children? I can control what shows they watch but I’m more concerned about TV’s impact on a child’s development.

A. TV content isn’t the only concern for parents. Too much TV is a major problem, too.

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages TV for children under age 2. For children over 2, the recommendation is to limit “total media time” to 1 to 2 hours of quality programming per day.

Studies have demonstrated a range of risks associated with TV. For example, excessive amounts of TV watching have been linked to restlessness and hyperactivity in preschool children, especially boys.

The American Academy of Pediatrics advises that TVs not be placed in children’s bedrooms. Both the number of hours of daily TV viewing and the presence of a TV in the child’s room are associated with a greater risk of obesity.

Before age 2 1/2, children learn little from TV. Its stimuli are overwhelming: too much noise, rapidly shifting visuals and the content is beyond small children’s comprehension.

Children may be able to tune out the barrage, but the energy would be better used for activities that actually help them learn – like reading or playing.

In many households, TVs are left on all day even when nobody is watching. Yet in the presence of “background TV,” young children have more difficulty paying attention and participating in interactive play.

Many small children are “parked” in front of the TV when their parents need to do something around the house. TV seems to have taken the place of extended family – of having grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings nearby who can lend a hand – but it is no substitute.

In any family, raising a child is a challenge. Still, when a parent must briefly resort to TV to keep a child occupied, I’d limit the amount as much possible and choose soothing, low-key, commercial-free content.

After age 2, I recommend restricting TV viewing to no more than one hour per day. I would always choose TV shows appropriate to your child’s age and temperament. When a child watches TV, parents should watch, too. You can talk over what you’ve seen.

Your questions will help your children learn to ask their own questions, think for themselves and begin to separate your family’s values from the ones on commercial TV that are meant to sell things. “Did you like that show? Why do you think that man was trying to hurt that lady? How did they make it look like that kid could fly? Do you think skateboards can suddenly appear under your feet when you open that can of soda?”

You can discuss the content with them in order to help them detoxify it and understand it. Such discussions will help children become media literate – an increasingly important skill.

Some parents feel they must expose their children to everything that other people’s children might see on TV. They fear that tuning out and unplugging might somehow deprive their children. Yet parents can rest assured that plenty of children turn out just fine with less TV – or none.

Sure, children may protest at first when the TV goes off. They may not tell you until they’re adults, but they’ll be grateful to see their parents behaving like parents and asserting control over their family’s values.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center.  Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

NURTURING A CHILD’S MIND

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
NURTURING A CHILD’S MIND
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. My sister has a bright 3-year-old son. She is determined to nurture and develop his mind and brain to the best of her ability. How can she expand his horizons?

A. At 3, a child is curious about everything and brimming over with questions: “Why, why, why?”

Valuing children’s curiosity encourages their drive to explore, investigate and understand.

But parents needn’t have all the answers or respond right away: “That’s an interesting question. Can you remember it so we can talk about it tonight at supper when I have more time?”

For children to learn, they must develop their ability to be patient; pay attention; persist even when they fear they may not overcome a challenge; face their mistakes; and focus even when frustrated.

Thus children take the measure of their abilities and potential. This self-confidence, along with a sense of optimism, helps children see problems as opportunities to find solutions.

Patience, focus and tenacity may not be the first skills that come to mind when considering how to expand a child’s horizons. Instead, we think of teaching him about colors; numbers; the alphabet; names of animals, trees and flowers; and the world’s countries.

A child who develops the character of a learner can take on these challenges and many more, and he will always seek new horizons on his own.

Of course it helps to expose an eager child to the world’s sights and sounds – music, or a second or third language.

But watch for his signals about how he learns – with his eyes, his ears, when he is in motion, or all of these.

Also look for clues to when he has had enough. If you overload a child, pressure him or present him with tasks he can’t yet handle, you may make him feel unsure of himself as a learner, or worse, like a failure. The risk of too much teaching is to turn him off learning. Challenges should be just a small step beyond – and within his reach.

One sure way to expand a child’s horizons is to talk together, ask questions and listen – about everything, even life’s small details. This helps extend a child’s language skills, which are critical for learning.

Children’s strongest motivation comes from the adults who care about them. For example, children will want to read if they see adults reading.

It inspires children when they interact with adults who are excited to learn and who encourage them to do likewise, without pressure or judgment.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

TODDLER’S BEDTIME RESISTANCE

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN:  FAMILIES TODAY:
TODDLER’S BEDTIME RESISTANCE
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. We have never let our 33-month-old son cry himself to sleep. He couldn’t adjust to a crib, so we put a mattress on the floor and lay down with him until he fell asleep.

This approach worked for all of us until recently. Now it can take upward of two hours for him to fall asleep. If we tuck him in and leave, he screams and comes running for us. I am left with skipping his nap. He is so tired by bedtime he goes right to bed, but I can’t give up two hours every night until he falls asleep.

A. Between age 3 and 5, most children stop napping. At first the transition can be confusing. A child is too tired without a nap but not tired enough for bedtime without one.

A two-hour nightly struggle is tough on everybody. Taking care of yourself as a parent is important, too – for all of you.

As naps fade, most children still need a rest break in early afternoon. Take him to his room, dim the lights and help him quiet down by quieting yourself.

At first he may want you to stay. Once he understands he needn’t sleep, he’ll learn to take a break on his own. You might put on soft music and give him storybooks or a few stuffed animals for daydreaming.

End his rest period by 3 p.m. Otherwise he’ll never be ready for bed at 8 or 9.

The mattress on the floor sounds fine – as long as his room and your entire home are childproof. Be sure he knows that his room is the limit.

Your child is still learning to settle himself for sleep. To help, you will need to help less. When you lie beside him he is comforted by your warmth, your heartbeat, your smell and your touch. Eventually he must feel comfortable on his own, wrapping himself in pillow and blankets or nuzzling a favorite stuffed animal.

One of my children would always go to sleep with her hands together, palm-to-palm, against her face – as if she were praying herself through the darkness.

Gradually you can shift to simply being present. Rather than lying in the bed, you can sit beside him, sing a lullaby or rub his back. Quietly encourage him to find his own thumb or a stuffed animal. Compliment him on his progress.

Over time you can pull back more, even if he still needs you to sit within sight as he falls asleep. By then he’ll be doing far more of the work of settling on his own.

The goal is for him to learn that he can control his own patterns of sleeping and waking and that he can find ways of self-comforting.

Learning to sleep alone is an adaptation that our society has made to the way we live. For most of human history, and today in most places in the world, families sleep in close quarters and children may never need to learn to sleep alone.

If dropping the afternoon nap doesn’t help, we suggest you discuss your child’s sleep problem with his pediatrician, who can check for other, less common causes.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

A THREE YEAR OLD’S POTTY PROGRESS

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
A THREE YEAR OLD’S POTTY PROGRESS
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. My 3-year-old daughter is fully potty-trained for urination – no diaper at night or for naps. But she refuses to use the toilet for a bowel movement and asks for a diaper instead (she will sit on the potty and pretend to go but always wants a diaper). She doesn’t seem to be afraid of the toilet and gives nonsense answers when we ask why she won’t go. What would help?

A. By nature, 3-year-olds need to assert themselves. They have strong reasons for not wanting to use the toilet but they can’t understand them, much less explain them. Making a big issue of the process can become a power struggle where your daughter’s healthy self-assertion goes astray – resisting your instructions rather than learning to control her body.

She has made great progress – potty-trained during the day and even at night. She’s shown you she knows what the toilet is for and how to use it.

But bowel movements are special. To small children they seem like some hidden part of their bodies that they are learning to master. Questions may make your daughter fear she’s failed or done something wrong – not the best feelings about bodily functions.

It’s hard for adults to remember how perplexing and disconcerting this process once seemed to be. Watch a child flush the toilet over and over. Is it to be annoying? Or to get attention?

No. Children have to be scientists and conduct experiments to figure out the world we take for granted.

Your daughter knows what you want if she’s pretending to try, but she’s not ready – which is why she wants the diaper. If a parent struggles with a child this age, the result may just be constipation.

You can avoid the turmoil. Just apologize to her. (Imagine that!) Say you’re sorry you’ve focused on this issue and you will leave her bowel movements up to her.

Don’t convey a sense of shame or failure. Let her know she can use a diaper until she decides, on her own, that she is ready for the potty. If you’re patient, you’ll end up using far fewer diapers.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

WHEN MEALTIME BECOMES A POWER STRUGGLE

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
WHEN MEALTIME BECOMES A POWER STRUGGLE
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. My 9-month-old is resisting solid foods, and mealtimes are turning into a power struggle. We introduced solids at six months, and she has been breast-fed, with an occasional bottle of breast milk.

She is not interested in bottles anymore. We are trying not to push her too hard but she ends up eating only 1-2 ounces per day. Do you have any tips to help her take more interest in solid foods without a struggle?

A. Between 7 and 9 months, babies learn to touch forefinger to thumb – the pincer grasp that gives them new power over their world.

They now can pick up tiny objects, look at them and explore them with their fingers before putting them in their mouth to learn all about everything within reach.

Now that they can deploy their fingers and thumbs, they want to use them as often as possible. They would much rather feed themselves than be fed.

As soon as a baby learns the pincer grasp, you must let her use it – or she will resist being fed by you. When you need to spoon-feed her, give her two spoons – one for each hand. With both hands occupied, she may let you use a third spoon to feed her yourself.

It will still be more exciting for her to pick up soft foods to put in her mouth – all by herself. She wants to try out her new abilities on her own – a big adjustment for her, and for her parents who may long for the cuddly, compliant baby they once had.

But there is no turning back. Instead, take advantage of her drive to practice fine motor skills. Offer her a soft bit of cooked meat, bread, cheese or scrambled egg, and let her have fun feeding herself.

Just give her one or two bits of food at a time, since most of it will end up on the floor anyway. And stop as soon as she loses interest.

Be prepared to start over at every meal. The theory is that many young children will not try a new food or flavor until it has been presented to them 15 times.

When your child turns away from food, she is not rejecting you. She is reminding you that children learn through patient repetition. If you are ready for this process, you’ll feel less frustrated.

You’re right not too push too hard. Eating is a behavior that – like breathing – can’t be forced. It must build on the child’s own drives.

Battles over food always backfire. The child inevitably gets her way, but nobody wins. If you can keep mealtimes relaxed and pressure-free, your baby is likelier to connect food and eating with enjoyable times of being together.

As she learns how much fun it is to feed herself fingerfood, she will begin to imitate you. Later on, she will learn to eat with fork, knife and spoon – and manners.

Meanwhile you may share your concerns with your child’s pediatrician, who can measure her height and weight and let you know whether her growth is on track. Ask about vitamin supplements, including Vitamin D and iron. At this age, limited interest in eating is very common, but if a child’s growth is not continuing apace, the pediatrician will consider other causes that will require other solutions.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

AN 8 YEAR OLD WHO SUCKS HER THUMB

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN:  FAMILIES TODAY:
AN 8 YEAR OLD WHO SUCKS HER THUMB
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. My daughter is 8 years old and she has a problem with thumb sucking. How can I help her?

A. Your daughter is much likelier to stop sucking her thumb if she decides on her own. Only when thumb sucking becomes her problem – not yours – will she give it up.

When parents try to stop a child’s thumb sucking, or even comment on it, they reinforce her need for it. Thumb sucking is one way a child comforts herself when she is scared, lonely, bored or anxious. Her worry that parents will try to interfere with her favorite form of soothing is yet another trigger for thumb sucking.

If you must do anything, just look for the things she does that she can be proud of, and compliment her on them. Help her to feel sure of herself. A parent is a child’s most reliable source of soothing until she learns she can count on herself for comfort.

Reduce the stresses and pressures on her that you can control so she’ll have less need for this kind of self-soothing. Point up other things she does that help her relax: “You look so comfy like that, all curled up with your book.”

Suggest other small pleasures she might try – going for a walk or a bike ride, humming a song, lying in the grass and looking at the clouds, sipping a cup of milk, or playing cat’s cradle or some other game that occupies her hands – without ever suggesting that these will replace her thumb.

Most children eventually stop on their own out of embarrassment and the wish to be like peers and older children – if nobody makes an issue of it.

My oldest child sucked her thumb until she was about 8 (as did I). At that age, children whom she admired began to comment on it, so she quit. Leave it to your daughter. If you don’t, her struggle with you will matter more to her than her peers’ disapproval.

Of course this change is easier said than done. Every time you see her sneak her thumb into her mouth you are bound to think, “What is the matter? What did I do wrong?” Or perhaps, if you sucked your thumb too, “Does she have to turn out like me?”

When thumb sucking becomes a constant reminder of parents’ doubts about themselves and fears about their child, it is no longer simply the child’s soother. Instead it has become a vicious cycle between them. Then thumb sucking is everyone’s problem – and the only solution is for parents to pull out of the argument.

Of course parents wonder, “Will she ever stop?” Many parents take comfort in being reminded that thumb sucking isn’t likely to be an issue when the 8-year-old is 18. However, several years ago I wrote a column about thumb sucking. In it, I suggested that deciding when to stop should be left up to each individual.

A 23-year-old woman then wrote to me, “Dear Dr. B., I still suck my thumb when I am going to bed every night and I can’t seem to stop myself. I am about to get married and I’ll be so embarrassed if my new spouse catches me at it. What can I do?”

I replied, “Don’t worry. You won’t need your thumb to help you go to sleep now. You’ll have a much better replacement to comfort you.”

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

RAISING YOUR ONE AND ONLY

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
RAISING YOUR ONE AND ONLY
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

Q. I have an only child. What’s your best advice for raising one?

A. Raising an only child brings special challenges and rewards.

An only child is always a “first child.” Parents may feel that no other child can compare. But they may also be at a loss because they don’t have the experience with other children to help them understand this one.

In a larger family, a child must learn to share – and fight to hold on to what is his, right from the start. An only child needn’t share his parents.

So don’t shower him with excessive praise, rewards and attention. He doesn’t benefit from having too much of everything just because he’s the focus.

Siblings also help to spread out a parent’s protective instincts. Go easy on hovering. Like all children, “onlies” need to try things out for themselves, fail (temporarily), get upset, pick themselves up and try again. Otherwise they may become overly dependent on their parents and lack the self-reliance to separate from them.

If your child is upset, wait a few moments before rushing in to soothe her. See if she can settle herself. Thus she learns to handle her strong feelings. Then she’ll know she can count on herself rather than her parents.

Siblings teach, inspire and entertain one another. Research has shown that babies as young as 7 months of age study each other carefully and respond to each other’s facial expressions, gestures, coos and cries.

Therefore, put extra effort into introducing your only child to other children. Close friends are especially important. Make regular play dates. Whenever possible, let your child get to know her cousins, or the children of your closest friends, to give her the feeling of belonging to a family or community.

Some parents of only children express the concern that their kids miss out on “just being kids” and “grow up too soon” because they are surrounded by adults.

But if parents balance adult-like conversations and expectations by paying close attention to their only child’s cues, they will reinforce the child’s playful side – and rediscover, enjoy and share their own.

Parents of only children find deep satisfaction in the close relationships they share. And only children tell us that they “turned out just fine” and that they treasure the families and childhood memories they have. They speak of connecting with plenty of other children in their extended families, neighborhoods and schools.

Whatever the challenges of being an only child (or raising one), that child will feel like No. 1 from the start, and forever.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

CHILD RAISING IN A TIME OF MULTITASKING

by

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN: FAMILIES TODAY:
CHILD RAISING IN A TIME OF MULTITASKING
By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.

In these challenging times, we risk losing our sense of balance. Technology and global competition have changed how we work. Multitasking has been glorified while new stresses on working parents sap more energy. Yet the most important jobs – like child raising – can’t be done without our full attention.

Working parents are less productive when they worry about their child care arrangements or about their co-workers’ resentment of parental time off when a child is ill.

Families suffer when parents – tethered to smart phones and laptops – bring work home. They may be home, but their jobs are their focus. They may be less engaged with their families, less available to them emotionally.

Yet that availability is critical for child development and strong family relationships.

Children and parents need protected time together to focus on each other, to watch, listen and respond with a minimum of intrusions.

From the start, babies and parents are learning to understand each other and themselves.

Since newborns have been listening to their parents’ voices for several months before birth, I like to help parents discover how much they and their babies already matter to each other.

I hold a newborn with his head in one hand and his bottom in the other. I ask the mother to stand on one side and to talk to her baby in one ear while I talk in the other.

Of course, most every newborn turns his head to his mother. And every mother grabs her baby, kisses him and says, “You know me already!” Then I do the same thing for the fathers. Eight in 10 babies turn their heads to their father’s voice instead of mine. With the other two, I tip their heads toward their fathers – to establish the “conversation.” The fathers react just like the mothers.

In our research, we found that 2-month-olds are already “conversing” with their parents. Sometimes a baby leads; sometimes he follows. He is learning that he can act on his world, and that he will be heard.

Babies and parents are working hard to get to know each other. They are already sharing emotions.

In another experiment, researcher Ed Tronick and I ask mothers to interact normally with their 2-month-olds – and then to turn away. When the mother turns back, we ask her to be unresponsive, expressionless: the “still face.”

Within 11 seconds the baby realizes that something is not right. Then he’ll try 15 different behaviors – smiling, crinkling his eyelids and cooing – to try to win back his mother’s attention.

The baby’s response changes if the mother is depressed. In the “still face” experiment, the baby gives up after only three tries.

Since we can detect maternal depression early and know how to treat it, we have an opportunity to protect children and families.

We used this research on Capitol Hill to advocate for the Family and Medical Leave Act (passed in 1993), which mandates job-protected leave for up to 12 weeks a year, although it is unpaid.

Parents need time with their new babies before returning to work. But these crucial interactions do not end after the first three months.

Workplaces can encourage strong families (and boost productivity, too) when job and family life are in balance.

Families also depend on strong communities where parents can find and share emotional support, practical advice and resources.

For many families, the workplace is their community. Workplaces must learn from strong communities about how to support healthy families. We must all put families first to keep our nation strong.

For more information on family and workplace:

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child’s health or well-being, consult your child’s health-care provider.

Dr. Brazelton, prior to his passing, was the founder and head of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center, which promotes and supports community initiatives that are collaborative, strength-based, prevention-focused sources of support for families raising children in our increasingly stressful world. Dr. Sparrow, a child psychiatrist, is currently the Director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center. Learn more about the Center at www.touchpoints.org.

Reprinted with permission from the authors.

Early Language Matters

by
Early Language Matters

Early Language Matters by Louise Packness

In an undergraduate communications class I was taking at Hunter College in NYC, many years ago, we were shown videos of Washoe the chimpanzee learning American Sign Language. (ASL) I was mildly interested in attempts to determine primates’ ability to learn language. But my real focus in these videos and in this class was American Sign Language itself.

I was taken with how “expressive” I found the visual-gestural language of the Deaf community. Peoples’ facial expressions were animated. There were large and small, fast and slow gestures and body movements. Eye contact was vital. I became consumed with questions about different forms of language. Could it be that a language that was expressed visually was somehow more “honest”, more “direct”? Certainly I had experienced misuse of spoken language: twisting of phrases and words; verbal manipulation of a sort. Could ASL use by-pass abuse of speech and more easily get to the heart of an issue? I felt compelled to explore this issue. I already loved language related learning, I.e., foreign languages, the origin of language, how languages change over time – and the nitty gritty of speech sound production as well as grammar and morphology and syntax.

I went on to graduate school and became a Teacher of the Deaf. I got my answer. ASL can be used in a manipulative way just the same way a spoken language can be. A visual gestural language may look more “immediate” and “‘direct” – “honest “if you will. But ASL is a full and true language; it follows rules, has exact vocabulary, word meanings, sentences and syntax and it is entirely possible to be false and manipulative in the visual-gestural form as well as the spoken language.

In my deaf education teacher training, the question of language acquisition for deaf and hard of hearing children born in to a hearing world came to the forefront. How do deaf children learn language and how do they learn to think? I went to study language acquisition of both deaf and hearing children and speech language development has been my professional work for 35 years.

In general conversation, we often talk about communication and language interchangeably. They absolutely overlap; communication is a form of language and language is a part of communication, but they are not entirely the same.

Communication starts the moment a baby is born. It is about connecting emotionally with other living beings. We humans are hard-wired to make and find comfort in these connections and we are born with a set of innate emotional expressions and an instinctive understanding of other people’s emotions. We express joy, sadness, fear, disgust, interest, surprise anger, affection and more, and recognize them in others.

These early non-verbal connections are shared through vocalizations, facial expressions, and physical movements. Adults and babies engage in looking at each other, copying each other, taking turns on an emotional level – interactions known as “serve and return”. They are recognized by psychologists as important in shaping brain architecture in powerful ways, and helping to create a strong foundation for future learning. These interactions, conversations back and forth of sounds, gestures, facial expressions, tones of voice, eye-contact, posture and use of space give the young child a sense of belonging and are important to both partners.

Verbal communication, language, is also hard wired in the brain.
It is a rich, complex, adaptable system with rules; it is the way in which we combine sounds, create words and sentences in speech, signs and later writing to communicate our thoughts and understand others.

Verbal language provides us with the tools to know what we think and want, and understand others’ thoughts and wants. We need language to socialize and learn. Through both communication and language, we are able to learn new information, engage in rich pretend play, solve problems, ponder, invent, imagine new possibilities, and develop literacy.
Verbal language develops over time and follows universal, developmental milestones. Children learn at different rates, but there is a critical period in which a child must experience and develop language for it to develop fully.

None of us remember how we learned language. For the child with no interfering cognitive or physical challenges it seems that it simply happens. It is “caught” not “taught”. It is “caught” when a child is immersed in a world with caring adults who talk and interact and engage with this child. The particular language – or languages – a child masters is the one that the child experiences and has the opportunity to practice.

Language learning requires no tools or training – only these conversations.
When we say that early language matters it is the early, emotionally attuned engagement between adults and young children that matter.

When an interested adult is fully attending, talking and listening – making it easy for the young child time to start conversations; responding with interest to what the child is expressing with or without words, talking about those things the child is interested in at a level the child can understand, having conversations that go back and forth a number of times – these behaviors promote the natural development of language.

My work has been with children with special needs who have speech and language delays and disorders. For these children specialized early intervention is extremely important. The earlier the better to take advantage of a young child’s developing body and brain.

For the typically developing child, however, if language develops easily and naturally, what can interfere??

How strong children’s language skills are affected by their surroundings. Challenging environmental circumstance, such as food insecurity, poor housing, lack of health care, no access to books make a difference in the young child’s development; an adult, parent or caretaker who is not able to sustain attention or be attuned to the child makes a difference in the child’s development. When the adult is highly distracted – perhaps by troubling personal concerns or the ever-increasing interruptions caused by technology; i.e., needing to check Face Time, take a phone call, look at Instagram, check notifications, etc., the child is adversely impacted. The tremendous value of on-going conversations gets lost with many interruptions. Being aware of the factors that are challenging, we can begin to address them.

The early conversations are what matter. They say that a good conversation is like a good seesaw ride; it only happens when each partner keeps taking a turn.

Louise Packness,
Speech-Language Pathologist, M.A. CCC-SLP

Books and Resources for Early Language Matters

American Speech-Language Hearing Association: articles and books. Including:
– Activities to Encourage Speech and Language Development
– How Does your Child Hear and Talk?
– Apel, Ken & Masterson, Julie, J. Beyond Baby Talk: From Sounds to Sentences – A Parents Complete Guide to Language Development, 2001

Early Years Foundation Stage, (EYFS) Statutory Framework- GOV.UK
2021 Development Matters in the Early Years.

Eliot, Lise, What’s Going On in There? : Bantam Book, 1999

Galinsky, Ellen. Mind in the Making: Harper-Collins, 2010

The Hanen Centre Publications. Helping You Help Children Communicate.
– Manolson, Ayala, It Takes Two To Talk: The Hanen Early Language Program ,1992
– Parent Tips
– “Tuning In” to others: How Young Children Develop Theory of Mind

Lahey, Margaret. Language Disorders and Language Development: Macmillan Publishers, 1998

Lund, Nancy & Duchan, Judith. Assessing Children’s Language in Naturalistic Contexts: Prentice-Hall, 1988

National Association for the Education of Young Children (NYAEC)
Articles
– Reinforcing Language Skills for Our Youngest Learners by Claudine Hannon
– 12 Ways to Support Language Development for Infants and Toddlers by Julia Luckenbill
– Big Questions for Young Minds, Extending Children’s Thinking. 2017

Princeton Baby Lab. A Research Group in the Dept. of Psychology at Princeton studies how children learn, and how their incredible ability to learn support their development. 2022 babylab@princeton.edu

Pruett, Kyle,D: Me, Myself and I: Goddard Press, 1999

Ratey, John,J. A User’s Guide to the Brain, Vintage Books, 2001 : 253-335.

Rossetti, Louis,M: Communication Intervention, Singular Publishing, 1996

Siegel, Daniel J,& Hartzell, Mary. Parenting from the Inside Out: Penguin Group 2003

Presence and Perspective

by
Perspective

Presence and Perspective By Murielle DiBiase, M.D.

In the chaos of the world we are living in today I find the challenge that rises to the top of my heap across settings and interactions with others of all ages is to be present and consider the perspectives of others. We are so inundated with the stressors of everyday living complicated with all of the Covid chaos that it’s a true challenge to stay in the moment and even consider the perspectives of others.

In my work in the field of Early Care and Education, I have many opportunities to engage with families, children, professional colleagues, teachers, and a wide variety of support staff involved as educators in this phenomenal field. We know that parents/family are children’s first “teachers”. Everyone involved in the classroom dynamics has an impact on the foundation of learning for each child in their care. We are all “cognitive coaches”, incidentally as well as intentionally, for every child we connect with, even for those we come to know in utero. It’s simply amazing to consider that the first 3 years of our lives are known to be the time in our lives that we will learn at an extraordinary pace like no other time in our entire lives. This, to me, magnifies the importance of intentionally being present as much as we possibly can across settings and ages for all to truly benefit from the interaction.

As I engage in the work of coaching educators to elevate the quality of their engagement with children, there are frequent conversations about taking a child’s perspective in the moment given any number of daily situations we encounter. As adults, we often make unintentional assumptions about children’s perspectives… “When you push your chair away from the table, you’re telling me you’re all done with snack.” (said to an 18 month old) I had to wonder if that was so or was this child merely experimenting with cause and effect given the moment… Just as unintentionally, we often forget that young children are just beginning to understand their world and are learning things like self-regulation. They are truly novices at social engagement and are new to the concept of emotions. They learn what they are living with no regard to “right or wrong” ideations at such a young age. Understanding a young child’s perspective is key to quality engagement. The more we learn, the more we are able to support learning for our youngest human beings.

This is all food for thought, which might shift our perspectives a bit. We don’t know what we don’t know and we do the best we can with what we do know at any given time in our lives. Thank goodness we have a lifetime to learn and grow and there are so many opportunities for us to do so! Learning is a work in progress, not an aim for perfection…

Favorite Resources:

Ted Talks : Jun Li, Fred Rogers (Google these individuals for more resources)

ZERO TO THREE 
Brazelton Touchpoints Center
Connection Parenting, Pam Leo (Google her for more resources to her credit)

Creative Connections LLC
Murielle S. DiBiase, M.Ed.
PO Box 15
Palermo, Maine 04354
207-931-6615